I woke up Tuesday morning with a start. The image from my dream was still vividly suspended right before my eyes.
In my dream I went to the bathroom and incorrectly sat myself on the toilet. My aim wasn't good. From my body I expelled blood, mucus and parts of my colon. I looked down and there it all was on the floor and I could see parts of my anatomy that I shouldn't have been able to see in that position. I was very upset with myself for the mess that I had made. I was very upset that parts of my colon were on the floor.
What was missing from the dream was the pain. There was no pain. It just happened without any feeling. Could it be that I forgot the pain? I mean what it really feels like when you are in a flair?
If I did, I no longer have that problem. After days of discomfort, moments of concern, tonight the pain really hit. The worst of it is in my upper left abdominal area but it hurts on the right when I am cramping. I had to close my eyes, take deep breaths and talk myself through it so that I could get up and go to the bathroom. The worst of it passed, I went to the bathroom, I expelled a small slightly pink and mucusy bm.
I increased my meds back up to the full dose on Monday because I was thinking something wasn't quite right. I think that was a good move but maybe too little too late. The silver lining is that the colonoscopy is only a week away now so we will know for sure what is going on and we can treat it accordingly. I just need to get through the next 7 days.