Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Shell Shocked

I woke up to the sound of the alarm and decided that just a few more moments of sleep were necessary. Suddenly it was an hour later and something was not right. I felt a cramp. I decided to slip out of bed and go directly to the toilet. I barely touched the floor as I flew to the bathroom. I closed the door, pulled down my pajamas and took a seat.

The cramps gained strength. I couldn't move. At all. Not my body out of the bathroom nor anything from my colon. God the pain was extreme. The tears streamed down my face and my panic began to rise. I began to feel nauseous.

"Okay, breath, slow down, relax" were among the messages I started to say in my head. After another 5 minutes, I was able to lift myself, my pants and my hands to the medicine cabinet before running in a crouched position back to my bed. I fell onto the mattress and groaned clutching my belly. I never act like this. I prefer to suffer in silence.

My partner had to get me a glass of water so that I could swallow my tylenol. I lay in a heap. I began to worry about getting to work. After 15 minutes of lying in bed, I went back to the bathroom a little calmer and slightly more in control. I passed something. Nothing that really looked out of the ordinary so I expected more but that was it. It was over as quickly as it started and I was beginning to feel better.

I was shell shocked. I felt like I had been run over. I stayed in bed for another hour. I was able to work on my laptop as I recovered from a terrible awakening.

Then I got up, showered, dressed, put on my makeup and some heels and looked like I had been walking down the cat walk rather than squatting between my bed and bathroom.

Lets see what happens next shall we?


  1. Ugh, brings back memories. Not too long ago I'd become so accustomed to gas cramps that it seemed normal to have my face on the bath mat and my butt in the air at least once a day. Congratulations on getting past the move...totally stressful!

  2. Great description! I am sure that was my exact position. At least that way the bath mat can soak up the tears.