Wednesday, April 15, 2009

She paused before answering

Bathroom: 0 (pressure, pain, cramping, but nothing)

Spoke to John at breakfast about doing a little prep for my colonoscopy. He sat with his forehead resting on his hand. Don't think that means anything. He always does that. He has strange body language. Sometimes that means he is thinking about what you said but most of the time it means he is tired, has a headache, is thinking about his morning, is pondering the weather, or just doesn't want to be engaged in conversation and this is a most excellent way to get people to leave him alone. When he does not answer me, I just move on. Sometimes I get angry inside, but most of the time I just ignore it. After I announced my plan to take the one packet of picko to prepare he didn't say a word. I moved on. 5 minutes later he said, "I am pondering the wisdom of that decision". I was well behaved. Not only did I not remind him of the many times he has said things like "I would just do it (when I was blocked up a couple of weeks ago) and clear things out" or "I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to just eat this". I also considered his words thoughtfully and came up with a solution. I suggested I would call the doctor's office and let them decide.

So I called the office. The receptionist sounded like she had not had a good nights sleep. I was my usual "I am going to be so sweet you won't be able to be anything but friendly with me" self. I don't like talking on the phone, I don't even like ordering pizza, and I don't like calling to ask people things. It takes energy to get myself worked up and ready to do it. Because of this, I am especially gracious in order to make the best of it. I explained that I felt so full, that I couldn't imagine how he would be able to see what he needs to see and that I really would like to do at least a partial cleaning before my proceedure. She paused.

I could hear her thoughts:
"This crazy bitch wants to do the cleans?"
"What is with these crazy colon patients?"
"You just can't win with these people, either they complain about the cleaning out or they make a special request?"

When I joked she didn't laugh. I said I felt the need to present a clean colon. She said that she thought he didn't want me to irritate things further. I said I understood but I was concerned by the fact that I can't pass anything. She agreed to check with him and get back to me.

So now I guess I just wait. I will rest my forehead on my hand and think whatever thoughts I want about the weather, the lack of jello in this house and how she paused before answering.

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