Nothing about UC because sometimes there are other things going on

I was driving to a meeting the other day and found myself sitting behind a stopped bus. I watched the next lane in my rear view mirror and waited for an opportunity to change lanes and get past the bus. When the traffic cleared I signaled and started to move into the next lane (which was okay since this was a four lane road).

At the same time, the car sitting directly behind me decided to pull out and the driver of said car thought it would be okay to cut me off and honk at me. I was not impressed and having my wits about me, I put my foot on the break pedal and my middle finger up against the window.

As he starts by me (still honking), he sees my raised finger and we make eye contact. He stops his car. He puts his car in park in the only open lane and gets out of his car. He walks over to my window and begins to gesture and speak. I can't hear him. I have the radio on. But I do see his lips moving. I don't think he is saying anything very nice.

What is a girl to do?

I looked him square in the face and said, "Stop being a Jerk". He seemed to slow down. I said it again. He stared at me. I noticed movement to my right and checked up in time to see the bus starting to pull away. The bus left. That meant I could too.

I waved to my new friend and drove away. I watched in my rear view mirror as he walked back to his car with blocks of traffic sitting behind him all wishing they could lose control and run him down. A few lights later he had caught up to me but when he should have pulled up beside me at the intersection, he held back. Was he marking down my plates or making sure I couldn't see his? Before the next lights, he turned into a gas station and I haven't seen him since.

Waiting

I have an appointment scheduled with a new doctor. It is over a month away. I have my fingers crossed that this doctor will be a good match for me. He or she will value my experience and opinion and take it into consideration. I will be part of my health team!

You can stop laughing at me now. A girl can dream.

My update is that I have more of the same. I have more joint pain and discomfort. It is mostly in my neck and shoulders but it does hurt down my arms sometimes. I have more pain in my abdomen, more diarrhea and more moments of urgency. But things could be worse. Things could be much worse. I continue to fight off this bug that threatens to make my nose run, the throat hurt and head fog.

We went away from the weekend and so I was unable to be comfortable. I couldn't go when I needed to even when there was facilities. Sometimes I just go and sit and nothing happens even though I really need to go. It is not constipation, it is comfort. I have the same problem in public bathrooms as I do in other people's homes; sometimes. It is and unpredictable complication.

Sometimes I am sick

Today I didn't feel too great. I had a couple of emergency trips to the bathroom, I felt sick at lunch time and was only able to eat half a bowl of soup, and I had stomach pain during my afternoon meetings. My first thought is to blame it all on my UC. Makes sense doesn't it?

Then I think about the other things that I felt today. I woke up early and felt sick in my throat. I was able to eat dinner and then some chocolate later on. I was so tired I came to bed right after dinner and I have pain in my ears.

In between all of the bad moments I felt fine (nearly). I stayed at work all day and was able to participate.

I think I am sick but I don't think it is my UC. I probably have a bug.

As of today

As of today, I have an appointment with my new general practitioner tomorrow for a physical. I will review with her how the GI appointment went and how I am feeling about his doctor. I have the name of a doctor that my friend is really happy with. I may just have to ask for a new referral. I can't imagine continuing to see a doctor who I think doesn't listen to me. There is enough of that in my life already, I will not continue to wait in a waiting room full of sick people to let a doctor ignore me.

As of today, I am still taking my original medication (mezavant). I decided not to change things until I am convinced to stick with a certain doctor. I have stopped using my suppositories and enemas because it was suggested that I should and for some reason I have decided to take that advice and not the other. I am not claiming that I make any sense.

As of today, I am out $180.00 for the prescription that I filled before I realized that I was not going to switch meds right away.

As of today, I am suffering occasional colon pain and regular joint pain. I am loosing hair at an alarming rate. I am eating well, taking my vitamins and probiotics and making less than 6 trips to the bathroom each day (although it is not the desired consistency).

As of today, I am working hard, loving my new home, enjoying my otherwise healthy family and managing my stress fairly well.

As of today, I am not getting sicker.

That is my measure of goodness. As of today, life is good.

A New GI God

Yes I met a new God today. He is, "GI GOD". (Make sure you pronounce that correctly, pause after the is and say the rest in a deep announcers voice as if you are announcing the coming of a super hero.)

I have moved to a new city and I had to find a new GI Guy. My last one may have spoiled me a little because he listened to what I said and took me seriously as a partner in my health care. He also had it a bit easier as I was a novice at UC, prednisone and flares when I first went to see him. That made me agreeable and less likely to be insistent.

I went to see a new doctor today. After an hour and a half wait for a consultation, and a three minute discussion this new doctor announced that my meds needed to be changed and that I was also suffering from irritable bowel syndrome. He didn't look at the form that they had me fill out and he didn't examine me. He asked a few questions, gathered some of the information and made it all fit as per the textbook.

I left feeling frustrated. I will make the medication changes shortly (not immediately since he only gave me four weeks of medication and an appointment in 6 weeks) even though I think someof the changes could have disaterous results. I am changing from mezevant to Asocal. I am hoping that this change is for the better and that my colon feels a little better while my hair stops falling out. He also wants me to stop using my suppositories despite the fact that they are what keeps the proctitis under control (and allows me to pass anything).

I typically cycle between boughts of diarhea and a total inability to pass anything. Usually, when I can't have a bm it is because I am so swollen that nothing can get through. A couple of suppositories can make all the difference. He wants me to stop doing that and start using a laxative. Holy Crap! I really don't want my bm's to be any looser than they already are. I am not sure what to do about this advice.

And by the way, I think this whole Irritable bowel thing is a bunch of wankery. I have other parts that are irritable.

I am going to try the new meds for a month and see how it goes. Then I will return to see this doctor and hope that I can connect with him a little better. I do think I was able to convince him that the Mezavant was doing bad things to my hair. Maybe I will have to teach him one new thing about me each visit.

Stress and its effects

As I have said, I have moved to a new city where I am doing a new job and struggling to find my place in this new world. I love the job and yet it is extremely tiring and stress filled.

Today I had to meet with my teem for the first time. I think close to 200 hundred of them showed. I spoke, my boss spoke, a guest shared some thoughts and then I took the time to meet as many of them as possible. It is an understatement to say that I am tired. The stress leading up to this event was building for days.

I also had family over on the weekend and that caused more stress when the regular rules of acceptable social behaviour were ignored and lunch turned into a whole day affair.

I have noticed since the major attack I wrote about that I a have not returned to normal. I am either blocked up and not going or I am going with little control. I would like very much to go back to my 2 or 3 times a day with some control and form thank you very much. I haven't had as much pain as I did that day but I have had pain.

I have also started to loose some weight again which may just be what my less than great scales are showing me or it too could be an indicator.

The good news is that my referral to a new specialist has already come through and I see my new doctor to discuss my situation on the 8th. I am hoping that new meds are in my future. What I am taking isn't working and yet the side effects are quite severe. I have lost soooo much hair. I hope I like this doctor but really I am just glad to have someone to consult with so quickly after getting here.

Shell Shocked

I woke up to the sound of the alarm and decided that just a few more moments of sleep were necessary. Suddenly it was an hour later and something was not right. I felt a cramp. I decided to slip out of bed and go directly to the toilet. I barely touched the floor as I flew to the bathroom. I closed the door, pulled down my pajamas and took a seat.

The cramps gained strength. I couldn't move. At all. Not my body out of the bathroom nor anything from my colon. God the pain was extreme. The tears streamed down my face and my panic began to rise. I began to feel nauseous.

"Okay, breath, slow down, relax" were among the messages I started to say in my head. After another 5 minutes, I was able to lift myself, my pants and my hands to the medicine cabinet before running in a crouched position back to my bed. I fell onto the mattress and groaned clutching my belly. I never act like this. I prefer to suffer in silence.

My partner had to get me a glass of water so that I could swallow my tylenol. I lay in a heap. I began to worry about getting to work. After 15 minutes of lying in bed, I went back to the bathroom a little calmer and slightly more in control. I passed something. Nothing that really looked out of the ordinary so I expected more but that was it. It was over as quickly as it started and I was beginning to feel better.

I was shell shocked. I felt like I had been run over. I stayed in bed for another hour. I was able to work on my laptop as I recovered from a terrible awakening.

Then I got up, showered, dressed, put on my makeup and some heels and looked like I had been walking down the cat walk rather than squatting between my bed and bathroom.

Lets see what happens next shall we?